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MY MOTHERHOOD: ANNE MARGOLIS

For the My Motherhood series, we ask different women the same series questions about mindfulness and motherhood to see what works for other women, but also to show how even though we may be different, we are all in this together.

Today we are talking to Anne Margolis, a holistic nurse-midwife and creator of Home Sweet Homebirth, a wonderful site for pregnant, postpartum and many other services. She is also the creator of the Love Your Birth Course, which you can learn more about here.

She is a wife and mother of 4.

 What does your perfect day look like?

There are things I do only weekly or monthly, and my routine varies….and weekends I like to have fun doing a variety of things/outdoor activities  with like-minded others. My perfect average dream day when home, and not on vacation, workshop or retreat looks like this: I get up around 8 am to a beautiful sunny day, blue sky 75-80 degrees with a soft breeze, flowers blooming, lush greenery and a view of the Hudson River outside my window, 2 blocks down the hill. I love natural beauty and water and late spring through early fall outdoor living kind of weather. I get dressed in my fun yoga or dance pants and a top (depending on the day) something comfortable but flattering and lovely, and put on a tad of organic makeup and fun colorful crafted costume jewelry to match. I have my tall glass of Japanese twig tea, on the patio (weather permitting) before driving to my 2 dance classes back to back (Jazz/Hip Hop/Latin/Fusion and Lyrical/Modern) or doing my own home yoga and meditation practice for 75 - 90 minutes in the soothing basement room I converted to a studio - with a little incense and candles on the fireplace taking a class on YogaGlo from favorite teachers. When I drive, the windows are open and music is blasting or I catch up on phone calls. The rest of the day I love to work, helping others as a midwife - women who seek my midwifery services or guiding other midwives and birth professionals as a midwifery business consultant. I love to teach a small group class of prenatal yoga and infuse it with some tips for their journey.
I meet one or a few friends/like-minded sister/family members for lunch or dinner at a sweet outdoor cafe that serves yummy and beautifully made healthy foods and taking a brisk walk by the water - either towards the park or in town with little artsy boutiques and farmers market. I can not do this everyday but it is the ideal. On days I can not do this, I enjoy a whole food organic lunch at the local co-op and it is fun to run into and talk to people I know there. 
On an ideal perfect day, I am actually interacting and connecting with people or on Skype/Zoom and minimal work time on computer/iphone. I do enjoy posting to inspire, educate, help and support the online community and to create services for them.
The evening my dream is to eat a small lovely dinner that is prepared for me at home or a uniquely lovely restaurant (my daughter is a chef, spoiled us rotten and turned us all into whole foodies). It is a nice time to spend with my husband and good conversation. We watch some comedy or a real good movie with fresh popcorn I make. Sometimes it is a quiet evening ...I read one of my inspiring books, am on the computer planning a trip…I am on the phone connecting with a sister and practicing tools we learned in workshop. I like the summer outdoor concerts, watching a basketball game or to go musical theater on Broadway for example (but that is more of an occasional treat).
The main theme of my day no matter where I am or when it is, is to be doing what I love, as that is when I am magnetic, a ball of light to myself and others.            
                                                                                                                

Do you have any daily rituals you use to center yourself?

My morning yoga and dance classes or yoga and meditation are must do's. I am so busy, but I safeguard my practices. If I dance I make time to sit in stillness and focus on breath and the inner gaze between my eyes for at least 10 minutes. i do bring in grounding or uplifting visualizations as I am inspired or need to do so. I love my night ritual. It starts with candles and dancing to my favorite music (R&B, hip hop, soul, lyrical, African, Tribal...anything that I can get into to move my emotions through my body and move sensually. I really get into the music and let it touch me deeply. I turn it on and up and get it out. I have taken workshops and retreats- Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts and Breathwork- so I incorporate various things I have learned that help me. I dance as I take my supplements, brush my teeth, undress. I soak in a bath of milk and honey (like Cleopatra) and lavish in the luxurious feelings, the calm, the softness it makes my skin feel. At this point the music may be a classical Baroque, or soothing music for a massage or yoga class. Then the music changes depending on my mood as I do the next activity by my alter, adorned by candles, dried flowers, shells from the ocean, inspirations. I have about 8-10 smooth rocks around a large candle on a plate. I hole each one to my heart and I brag to myself on what I accomplished that day as I place it down on the plate. I do the same for the things I am grateful for, and then what I desire and pray for.  I rub my body in coconut oil and dab on a natural, delicious fragrance, doing a self love and appreciation practice. I end it off by reading an inspirational or healing affirmation card. I dress into my lovely lingerie and watch a sitcom or read some inspiration in bed before sleep.

How do you make time for the different faucets of your life?

The daily rituals I wrote about above are non-negotiable like eating, drinking and sleeping, unless there is something unusually urgent (like a birth, then I do what I can). They are easier for me now that my 4 kids are grown. Even when they were little I guarded my self care, even if it was one class. My husband took over during that one class, or whatever that 'me time' entailed.

The more life has become online, the more I must guard my time unplugged and off the computer, for living and being IN my life fully. My weekend retreats became a week, then a month or two away each year. I am drawn to yoga, healing and growth workshops in the tropics, sea with mountains, and exploring and connecting with like-minded people around the world. I love Costa Rica, but I cannot deny my love for Italy!

Do you have any special family rituals?

My kids are grown and don't live at home anymore...my youngest son left for college two years ago, 2 are married, and 1 has moved overseas. The married ones live close and visit regularly. I must see my 2 grandbabies at least once a week! Friday night and Saturday family meals for connection (no cell phones or work) and on holidays and a week summer vacation by the sea were givens when they were at home, but now they come when they can. But my husband and I still do them. My family is into the rituals of the holidays. I am the free spirit yogi of the family, and am more drawn to getting together, connecting and playing with them, and connecting to my spiritual life in other ways some of which I wrote above. I made my husband in charge of making sure we take an hour walk each day and watch some comedy, and I arrange the special outings.

What is the best advice you've ever received or given about motherhood?

Play with your kids. Get off the phone and connect with them. Laugh with them. Be there for them. Let them express and be themselves fully, and build their self love and confidence. Let them fly but give them roots. Time flies so fast, and before you know it, they are grown.  Build a community or connect to one, so you have your sister tribe and are not alone and isolated. It does take a village to raise kids and mamas. Guard your self care fiercely. Listen to your body, heart and gut...and trust your inner knowing. Know what you want and like and what you don't want, and communicate clearly in a high positive vibration. Feel all your emotions, and move them through and out, express them when appropriate to a wise confident/mentor - but don’t take your negative emotional charge out on your family. Do what you love and desire, then you are happy and that is contagious. Happy mama makes a happy family.  What is your favorite part about motherhood? Creating a family, my tribe forever. I loved to play and laugh and be real silly with my kids. And still do. It's not easy, there were challenges along the way, but it was and still is so worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

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