For the My Motherhood series, we ask different women the same series questions about mindfulness and motherhood to see what works for other women, but also to show how even though we may be different, we are all in this together.
Today we are talking to Anne Margolis, a holistic nurse-midwife and creator of Home Sweet Homebirth, a wonderful site for pregnant, postpartum and many other services. She is also the creator of the Love Your Birth Course, which you can learn more about here.
She is a wife and mother of 4.
What does your perfect day look like?
Do you have any daily rituals you use to center yourself?
My morning yoga and dance classes or yoga and meditation are must do's. I am so busy, but I safeguard my practices. If I dance I make time to sit in stillness and focus on breath and the inner gaze between my eyes for at least 10 minutes. i do bring in grounding or uplifting visualizations as I am inspired or need to do so. I love my night ritual. It starts with candles and dancing to my favorite music (R&B, hip hop, soul, lyrical, African, Tribal...anything that I can get into to move my emotions through my body and move sensually. I really get into the music and let it touch me deeply. I turn it on and up and get it out. I have taken workshops and retreats- Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts and Breathwork- so I incorporate various things I have learned that help me. I dance as I take my supplements, brush my teeth, undress. I soak in a bath of milk and honey (like Cleopatra) and lavish in the luxurious feelings, the calm, the softness it makes my skin feel. At this point the music may be a classical Baroque, or soothing music for a massage or yoga class. Then the music changes depending on my mood as I do the next activity by my alter, adorned by candles, dried flowers, shells from the ocean, inspirations. I have about 8-10 smooth rocks around a large candle on a plate. I hole each one to my heart and I brag to myself on what I accomplished that day as I place it down on the plate. I do the same for the things I am grateful for, and then what I desire and pray for. I rub my body in coconut oil and dab on a natural, delicious fragrance, doing a self love and appreciation practice. I end it off by reading an inspirational or healing affirmation card. I dress into my lovely lingerie and watch a sitcom or read some inspiration in bed before sleep.
How do you make time for the different faucets of your life?
The daily rituals I wrote about above are non-negotiable like eating, drinking and sleeping, unless there is something unusually urgent (like a birth, then I do what I can). They are easier for me now that my 4 kids are grown. Even when they were little I guarded my self care, even if it was one class. My husband took over during that one class, or whatever that 'me time' entailed.
Do you have any special family rituals?
My kids are grown and don't live at home anymore...my youngest son left for college two years ago, 2 are married, and 1 has moved overseas. The married ones live close and visit regularly. I must see my 2 grandbabies at least once a week! Friday night and Saturday family meals for connection (no cell phones or work) and on holidays and a week summer vacation by the sea were givens when they were at home, but now they come when they can. But my husband and I still do them. My family is into the rituals of the holidays. I am the free spirit yogi of the family, and am more drawn to getting together, connecting and playing with them, and connecting to my spiritual life in other ways some of which I wrote above. I made my husband in charge of making sure we take an hour walk each day and watch some comedy, and I arrange the special outings.
What is the best advice you've ever received or given about motherhood?
Play with your kids. Get off the phone and connect with them. Laugh with them. Be there for them. Let them express and be themselves fully, and build their self love and confidence. Let them fly but give them roots. Time flies so fast, and before you know it, they are grown. Build a community or connect to one, so you have your sister tribe and are not alone and isolated. It does take a village to raise kids and mamas. Guard your self care fiercely. Listen to your body, heart and gut...and trust your inner knowing. Know what you want and like and what you don't want, and communicate clearly in a high positive vibration. Feel all your emotions, and move them through and out, express them when appropriate to a wise confident/mentor - but don’t take your negative emotional charge out on your family. Do what you love and desire, then you are happy and that is contagious. Happy mama makes a happy family. What is your favorite part about motherhood? Creating a family, my tribe forever. I loved to play and laugh and be real silly with my kids. And still do. It's not easy, there were challenges along the way, but it was and still is so worth it. I wouldn't have it any other way.