The Mala Stories highlight women that use motherhood as a catalyst for personal growth, strength, and connection. Showing that Motherhood isn’t something that robs you of your time and identity, but rather is something that brings to the surface a deeper connection to yourself, your community and the universe. That motherhood can be a time when you shed your insecurities, and self-doubt to step fully into the woman you are meant to be.
Today we are so excited to share the first instalment from Morgan Day Cecil of Romance and Adventure. Put the kids down to bed, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy Morgans's soul searching on self-doubt, self-care, and self-love.
Sometimes I wonder if self-doubt is a genetic disease.
I’ve struggled with feeling worthy and confident my whole life.
In my twenties I had so much fear of not being good enough it took every ounce of courage within me just to show up for my waitressing job.
Being “on” all the time gave me extreme anxiety.
I realized recently that one of my baseline experiences as a woman is feeling inferior.
I know I’m not alone.
And I know it’s not right to live your whole life feeling this way.
I don’t know if there is a cure to self-doubt. I’ve experienced the highest highs in love and faith and I still wake up in the same battlefield.
So maybe there isn’t a cure, but in search of one I have found practices that help me rise out of the pit. Lighting candles in the evening. Taking long baths. Taking regular breaks from social media. Journaling all the feelings.
Showing up as a present, enthusiastic, and tender mother.
Being a wife who is truly in love with her husband. Returning to my yoga mat and meditation practice regardless if I feel like it or not. Touching every bead of my mala and reciting my mantra prayerfully.
My mind has had a lot of "practice" worrying about my worth so that’s the path I tend to veer toward if I don’t bring some structure of self-care into my day. (As one of my teachers says, "What you practice you get good at." Unfortunately I've gotten quite good at self-doubt so now it's time to work at getting good at something else!).
Spiritual practices joined with sensual activities (i.e. praying while feeling the touch of smooth wooden beads between my fingers) are working the best for me right now.