Nothing drives me more crazy than ads that portray motherhood as a frazzled, miserable existence.
There is this expectation that Motherhood is a thankless, hard job that causes you to completely lose your identity for the sake of your kids and become a secretly depressed, resentful, wine obsessed perfectionist. It is the punchline of many sitcoms and commercials.
I can see how easy it can be to fall into this trap. As soon as you find out you are pregnant, advice starts flying at you, and you can easily feel pressured to buy certain objects and start noticing what is “acceptable” as a mother. There is a pressure to fit a certain “mom mold” and give up certain hobbies or passions that don’t fit into this preconceived notion of what a mother should be.
Once your children arrive earth side, they start to take up almost all of you time, as babies tend to do, making it easy to fall into a single focus life. The unfortunate by-product of this singular focus is that it can start making what you are focused on, motherhood, unenjoyable.
When my first son was born, I started falling into that trap. I found myself zoning out on social media, and never being fully present with my son, even though he was the most important thing in my life. I was doing what I thought I should be doing, and I was avoiding taking care of myself and my passions. I was burnt out and disconnected. I could see the stereo-typical “mom life” in my future, and I didn’t want it.
Once I started taking care of myself properly, and intentionally started creating the experience of motherhood I wanted, I found that Motherhood didn’t rob me of my identity, it was the opposite. It brought me into the woman I was meant to be.
I needed to be the most intentional and honest version of myself to be the best mom I could be. Motherhood made me realize that life passes by so quickly, and that if I didn’t start living in the moment and making choices based on my intuition that I would miss the beauty of all of it.
By taking the time everyday to sit in meditation and connect with my breath, choosing to light a candle and put on music every morning instead of turning on a TV, and by regularly checking in with my intentions I started crafting a life that worked for us. I started to find ways to weave mindfulness into our days, and started slowing down and finding time for the things that brought me joy.
Motherhood connected me to myself more than I ever thought possible.
By choosing to make my self care a priority and being intentional with how I spent our time, money and energy I found a lightness, flow and beauty in Motherhood that I’m afraid I would have otherwise missed, stuck behind a screen and ignoring the present moment.
These small changes also made me a much more patient, calm and attentive mother, which I am forever grateful for, and makes me so thankful for the wonderful responsibility of raising kind, compassionate little humans.