For the My Motherhood series, we ask different women the same series questions about mindfulness and motherhood to see what works for other women, but also to show how even though we may be different, we are all in this together.
I'm so excited to be featuring Dalea Faulkner on the blog today. She is a Wellness Advocate, Certified Crystal Reader, Leadership Coach, Wife, Mother, and creator of her brand That Crazy Oil Lady. Follow her on Instagram to see all the great ways you can incorporate essential oils in your life!
What does your perfect day look like?
My perfect day starts with a quiet morning ritual. I stay in bed and read and journal before my son and husband wake up. I also love to go into another room for a beautiful meditation session. I make it very intentional, by wearing my mala, putting essential oils into my diffuser and wearing earbuds. This also helps if my little man wakes up! I’ll make myself a hot cup of something, be it coffee or tea. More often than not, I will smudge our home with sage and palo santo in the morning, which feels so calming and freeing. Spending time with family is also part of my perfect day. Going on a nature walk, having an impromptu dance party, or baking up something tasty in the kitchen… are all some of my favorite family activities. I love what I do and work from home, so believe it or not, part of my perfect day does include a little bit of work! Whether I’m connecting with other mamas to support their health and wellness goals, or I’m writing… it’s one of the big things that fills up my cup!
Do you have any daily rituals you use to center yourself?
Oh yes! I feel like it is one of the most important gifts I have given myself the last few years. I tend to be super high energy and need to get into a calmer head space to “function” on a higher level. My morning routine is very much the same every day, and I switch it up depending on how I’m feeling that day. Maybe I throw in a yoga flow or some buti yoga after meditating. I also love to take a relaxing crystal bath regularly. Usually I do this in the evening. I add the crystals I am feeling most called to use to my bath water, epsom salt, and the essential oils that are calling me as well. I step out of the water feeling like a brand new woman! The rest of my evening routine is much like the morning, a meditation session, some journaling and a little bit of reading. My husband is the bedtime guru, so I do this as he is tucking in our little boy. I also feel like my son’s bedtime routine is part of mine, since I oil him up and get his diffuser going for the night.
How do you make time for the different facets of your life?
This was a total learning curve, and to be honest I still am working on getting this to be more balanced. I have struggled with perfectionist tendencies my whole life, so I think that sometimes this can be an asset. In the past, I have let this overwhelm me because I would load up my to-do list, and not really give importance to specific tasks (in my mind, they were all equally important). Once I let go of that, I was able to identify what things were most important to me, and help me avoid burning out. It definitely helps to divvy up the household tasks with my husband, but even still there are tasks he is limited in with his injuries (he’s a disabled Army Veteran). I do use a planner, and in it I put everything… household tasks, homeschooling, my oil business, any writing I need to do, catching up with friends, sending an email… it all goes in there. Now, it might not all get done on the designated day, but it helps to keep me on track with my goals and intentions. I do feel like this has helped me to create even more time that I need to do the things that I love and that are truly important. Even now, I find myself finding more time to spend sitting down to watch a movie with my husband, or play on the floor with my son. Keeping my morning and evening rituals have been a super help in this area too, because I don’t walk through my day feeling like I was neglecting myself.
Do you have any special family rituals?
Not specifically. I would say that we often do large puzzles together, and go on walks. I did just start a fun activity with Daen (5, my son) that is all about the phases of the moon. We get to learn all about the different moons of the year and it is so much fun! I did mention dance parties earlier… those are so much fun! Daen will come and see me (usually while I’m working at the computer) and ask if we can do a dance party. I’ll save whatever I have been working on and turn on some tunes for about 10 minutes. It is such a welcome break, and a great reminder that we can always choose to stop what we are doing to experience more joy and be present in the moment with our families.
What is the best advice you have ever given or received about motherhood?
Hmmm… I actually say this a lot, in so many areas of my life, but I definitely remind my mama friends about this often: “It doesn’t have to look a certain way”. My motherhood looks different than yours, and yours looks different than hers, and that is totally ok. Letting go of the idea that your home needs to be x while the child does y is just a recipe for disappointment, especially if you are comparing your outcome with that of a close friend. Don’t compare your motherhood to someone else’s, and remember that it doesn’t have to fit some specific mold or recipe. It doesn’t have to look a certain way.
What is your favourite part of motherhood?
Is it cliche of me to say the cuddles? Gosh I love feeling the love of my son. He is such a sparkly little empathic soul, and his cuddles are epic! I did love breastfeeding when we did that back in the day, and the closeness that came along with that. I also love knowing that I’m helping my son discover who he is by navigating the world. Maybe it’s intimidating some days, but it is always, always, the most important contribution I have ever given to this world.