The Mala Stories highlight women that use motherhood as a catalyst for personal growth, strength, and connection. Showing that Motherhood isn’t something that robs you of your time and identity, but rather is something that brings to the surface a deeper connection to yourself, your community and the universe. That motherhood can be a time when you shed your insecurities, and self-doubt to step fully into the woman you are meant to be.
Today I am so excited to have Arianna share her first instalment of the Mala Stories. Arianna is a mother of 7, and such a huge influence on us. Grab a tea, curl up in front of the fire and enjoy Arianna's path to the pause.
Practicing the Pause
Motherhood even on the gentlest of days is a tornado of many missions. We are in a constant bounce between a cook, referee, fashion consultant, maid, teacher, event coordinator, entrepreneur goal getter, and dream weaver. A lot of it all being done before the clock strikes noon!
Most mothers, I’ll assume, often are in full drive to be that cool collected mindful mama. You know, the one that is 100% worry-free and fairy skips through motherhood with nothing but smiles, homemade organic gluten free muffins, and a trail of glitter that dances behind her… although, I’ve yet to meet this Mother and highly question her existence, ha!
But somedays motherhood truly can feel this storybook wonderful. We feel empowered and supported in our choices and secure in our ways of raising. The puzzle pieces of the day just slides effortlessly into one another and everything just feels wondrously easy.
But what about the days that don’t….? The days we find ourselves running in circles for the missing pieces. The days that feel lonely and never ending; dragging us into the trenches of overthinking, overcompensating, overwhelmed, over stimulated-ovvver iiit. Often as a result of this we can windup reacting and responding to our children from a space of pure exhaustion.
For example, when we are feeling already depleted or anxious from a particularly difficult day or even moment, the emotional response as a result to a rise in our child(rens) emotions -insert sibling bickering- can quickly become a volcanic eruption. Voices may rise alongside frustration and then there is this dance of fiery emotions and some are left feeling a bit unheard, and the situation possibly unresolved.
There is an extraordinary kind of magic in the power of the pause and its found in our breath. It creates a secure and grounded platform for momentary reconstruction. It drops our shoulders, expands the heart space, clears the mind, and melts the tension. This brief but potent rebuild within ourselves, from pausing even just long enough to intentionally and fully expand our lungs and slowly but completely release the breath; we are able to return to offering our children guidance and our empathy. We take note of their stress rather than allow it to create our own.
Pausing with a deep breath and affirmation such as, “observe with an open heart” or, “guide by example, mama “, encourages me to reground and acknowledge with calmness.
The conscious Mama mala helps on the rough days to practice this pause. When I feel nerves becoming short and frustration creep over, I bring a hand to my heart and breathe. I roll fingers over the smooth sandalwood and clear quartz beading; that gifts us with clarity and optimism. Once I reach the beautiful ocean jasper center, I hold the stone in my palm as I speak my affirmation. Resetting intention and reminding myself of the energy I wish to share. I relax, I recenter, and then I respond.